Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize