Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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