..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
