I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
