Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
