He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
bring money and cleavage
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
