A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
