I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize