It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
