TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
