Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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