I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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