I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize