Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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