Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420