And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
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Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though