He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.