what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
50% drunk capacity currently
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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