the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
