thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
