I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
