I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
