Pappa wants mamma naked
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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