I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
