That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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