every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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