Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
