i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
