Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
