did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
