I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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