You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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