I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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