ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize