Got a toothbrush?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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