Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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