Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize