went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
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