how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
