my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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