do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
