Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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