I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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