Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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