It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
