can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
