I wanna bring you to show and tell
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
