I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Of course I have a pirate flag
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
