i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
