The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need to sanitize my soul.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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