Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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