I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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