im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize