I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
