my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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