i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize