I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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